I must start by drawing attention to the fact that this challenge is not only faced by females but males have a share. Having said this, I should also add that comparatively only few males have this challenge so I will mostly focus on female orgasm.

_I have never experienced orgasm all my sexual life._

_I used to get orgasm but not anymore no matter what I do_.h

_I don’t even know if I get orgasm or not because I don’t know what happens_.

*Orgasm is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement, resulting in rhythmic mascular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure.*

Not being able to reach orgasm can be very frustrating and if proper care or counselling is not sought, it can kill desire to have sex. A lot of females are still battling with the issue of not being able to reach orgasm. Unfortunately, some females are forced by their condition to jump from one guy to another hoping and praying one of them will give them orgasm.
Others too move from one doctor to another and from one medication to another. My most recent client believed it was witchcraft.
Here are some factors that can lead to absence of orgasm which is technically known as *anorgasmia*:

*BODY* – There are quite a number of factors emanating from the body which can inhibit orgasm. The anatomical structure including the shape and development of the clitoris, hormonal level or it’s production as well as muscular issues can all affect orgasm.

*MIND* – The brain is very powerful and must not be underestimated when it comes to orgasm. How you feel and what you think can affect orgasm. Depression, anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of sexual abuse can equally affect orgasm. There is the need to relax, focus and concentrate.
*RELATIONSHIP* – If you find yourself in a relationship where there is no love or trust, it can affect orgasm. Some people due to shyness are unable to sexually express themselves the way they want because of what they feel their partner may think of them.

*MEDICATION* – Some people in the quest of finding solution to their challenge and out of desperation, move from one doctor to another and from medication to medication unless they don’t hear of a drug that promises orgasm. It is important to note that some of these medications can prevent orgasm.

*SEXUAL TECHNIQUES* – We all have certain spots or parts of our body that brings out the strong and deep feelings in us and it is for this reason that communication during sexual intercourse is important. Having sex in a certain way alone will not lead to orgasm. Explore different techniques or angles or positions.

*SOCIETY and PERCEPTION* – Society in a way can contribute to this challenge. In some societies, things that are said about orgasm or sex in itself can force people to shut their minds on sex. Some people as a strategy to keep them abstaining from sex allow their brains to suppress their feelings or desire to have sex and some intentionally develop strong dislike for the opposite sex. In the end it becomes part of them and when they want to have sex when ready, it becomes a problem or takes time for the mind to adjust.
Finally, a bitter relationship experience leading to break up and ”broken heart” can cause some people loose interest in sex and can lead to that condition.

The fact that you have never experienced orgasm before does not mean you can’t have one. Feel free and let’s talk about it. Where there is a will, there is surely a way.

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